Affectionate Motherly Love

     World is full of relationships where one find love for each other. Being a Christian, we do not believe in horoscopes but when Information Technology came in, one can get his/her horoscope easily  for free. Someone got a horoscope of mine also. Once I decided to read it and found one prediction " You will be fed by two mothers". When I went my home town, once I asked my mother about its truth and my mother told me that when we had settled in Andaman the cultivation and reaping was done jointly by all villagers. Parents will work in the field and they will leave the small children in a hut nearby. When a child will cry for milk, mothers will come, feed them and go back to work.  Our neighborhood family had a daughter named Janet who was of my age.  So when Janet will cry, her mother will come, feed her and feed me as well. The prediction was 100% correct in my case. This woman to whom I used to call Nani always showed her love to me till she was alive.

   A peasant's family has a very hectic schedule during harvest seasons and everyone has to contribute something and our studies was just a secondary issue. In 1976, I passed out 8th standard from my Island's School and since it was desire of my parents that I become a Priest, I was to leave home a after my Eldest brother's marriage. No barat went and the in-laws of my elder brother brought the bride to my Island and marriage was blessed in the local church. My bhabhiji's name was Jacinta Minj. I even could not talk to her because on the next day I departed for Port Blair. I was to proceed to Kolkata to join an Apostolic School in Gumla, Jharkhand. Unfortunately, I could not get a ticket of the ship and had to come back home. I lived at home for sometime but could become familiar with bhabhiji. I joined Nirmala School in Port Blair and my visit to my home Island was only during Dushara, Christmas and Summer Vacation. She was very cool and simple lady. She will help my mother in whatsoever way it was possible for her. Slowly we became good friends. Whenever, I will go home she will take care of me, feed us like his sons and wash my clothes before I leave for Port Blair. In turn, whenever I used to be at home, I will help her cooking and will try to see that she gets sometime for rest.

     This continued for next 11 years. When I came Delhi and visited home first time, I took a Sari for her. I just asked her, "Did you like it?" She just replied, " Jab tum laye ho to mai pasand nahi karungi kya?". A year after this in 1988, I went for my marriage. There was some impediments in our marriage and seemed marriage will not take place. My father was also annoyed because my marriage proposal was being delayed by girl's side. He refused to go for further talk with the girl's side. Seeing this, I went to my bhabhiji and told her that I am leaving for Delhi because I have exhausted my leave and I will marry after 1990 because in 1990, I had to appear for Section Officer's Departmental Exam. She didnot say anything but calmly went to my father and requested for one more effort to which my father agreed. She came to me and said, "Marry this time because if you delay it, I will not be able to see your marriage." I asked her why? and she insisted  her words and I had to finally agree. This time, the matter was settled and in sort time, my marriage took place and came back Delhi.

    One day me, my house owner and my wife were dining in the night and someone knocked the backdoor with much force. My house owner went and opened the door but no one was there. Again someone knocked the door with great force and I ran towards the door but again no one was there.  Since nothing happened we took our dinner and went to our beds.It was the month of December, 1988. On the next day my elder brother sent me a telegram, informing me that she died after her delievery because the child had already died before he could born. I then recalled her words as to why she had said those words before my marriage and why she had insisted too much for my marriage. I sincerely believe  she had premonition of her death.

    But it was not an end. Frequently she will appear me in my dreams and will not utter any thing. This continued for very long time. I offered many masses for her soul but nothing stopped those dreams. I even went to her tomb and prayed for her soul when I visited first time in 1996 after her death and next time she appeared very cheerful in my dreams. But even after that she will continue to appear in my dreams. I just tried to understand as to what she wanted from me. In fact she had left behind her two daughters and as I could imagine and understand her soul was asking for my help to see that her two daughters settle down in their lives.  The elder niece had no issue even after her marriage and after consulting my wife, I brought her for treatment in Delhi. She has now two sons meaning there by that I have two grandsons.  My second niece too joined a congregation to become a nun.  With this, it is almost 4-5 years now, she never appeared in my dreams. I hope and belief she is enjoying the peace of heaven with our Savior. I always cherish the love and affection which was purely motherly one in my life and thank God for giving me such a nice bhabhiji in my life.

   

My First love...a Sacred Love

     In the year 1985, I was working in Indian Oil Corporation and IOC provided me a two room accommodation. All of a sudden, one day, may be in April, 1985,  two girls came to my home, my cousin(her nick name was Baby) and her friend(my present wife). My cousin who was daughter of my father's cousin, came to stay with me and learn typing because her own cousin was living with me. Her friend  left next day to stay with her relative. I did not know much about my cousin, so I kept a distance from her for few days but slowly she went on becoming closer to me day by day. She will always call me "Dada" (elder brother) and attend all household work as a housewife does. At that time I was pursuing Master's Degree apart from full time job and in the evening I often felt tiredness. But when I use to reach home, every thing will be ready. She will cook food for us, wash our clothes and keep everything in order.  Often she will sit beside me and do everything to relieve me from the pain and tiredness of whole hectic day. She will massage me and stroke my hairs with her tender hand .  Slowly I started noticing that she will sit beside the window and wait for my arrival everyday. If I was late on any day, she will feel annoyed and complain me as to why I was late. Often for some reasons, she will be annoyed and will not talk to me for sometime but soon she will turn to me, kiss me and say, "sorry Dada".  I slowly realized that we fell in love with each other but was without any physical desire. I had never experienced love of my own sister because my own sister got married long back.This was the first time, I experienced the tenderness, purity, sacredness and power of love without any physical desire.  After few months, I got her admitted to College as per her wish and introduced her to all my friends working in the college and arranged admission in the Girls Hostel. But every Saturday evening she will wait for me to pick her up from hostel. She will stay for a night and on Sunday evening again I had to drop her to the hostel.  But in September, 1985 I got the offer of appointment from Ministry of Communications, New Delhi and had to report here very soon. I went hostel to tell her about this. She became sad but did not utter a word. On 12th October,1985, I had to finally leave Andaman. When I was about to  go for security check for boarding the flight, I found her outside the gate with her friend with a sad and sorrowful face. I went to her,  kissed her and came to Delhi.

   We remained in touch through letters for the next two years. Every alternate day she will pen down a letter to me and I kept her replying at the earliest occasion.I promised her of my love and support in her life in whatsoever way and means,I could do as her brother.  When I went to Port Blair in 1987, she met me and spent sometime with her. After I returned Delhi, slowly I found that she became irregular in writing me and finally stopped writing me anymore. I thought, it may be because of the fact that she could not pass her B.A. final exams. In 1988, when I went Andaman for my marriage, I and my would be wife went her home to meet her. It was a sort meeting as we primarily went her to invite her for our engagement. She came to drop us at the bus stop but did not reveal anything about herself.

     On the day after my marriage, her parents came to my home and told us that she married a Telugu boy before my marriage. After this, I lost her contact completely. I wrote a few times but there was no response so I gave up. I too fell busy with my own career and family but often I remembered her. I just thought she might be happy with her family and as a true love desires happiness in others happiness, I wished the same in my heart for her. I kept her photographs safely in my briefcase and often have a look and remember the time we spent together. After my marriage, I could not go to Andaman for quite long time. It was only in 1996, we went Andaman. I tried to know about her but I could not. From 1996 to 2004 we visited Andaman five times but no one told me where my first love is? The only thing I could know was that she has a daughter and a son but she is not treated well by her husband.

    It happened so that my niece got married to a family where her younger sister is also married. One day I called up her sister and asked for her mobile number. I called her one evening sometime in 2007 but she even could not recognize my voice. I told her that it is me, her Dada, she bursts in tears. I asked her a lot of questions as to what happened in these 20 years but instead of replying, she went on weeping and weeping. I just imagined that something is wrong in her married life. My wife will always annoyed if I talk to her and ask me what made her to forgot me for 20 long years. When I went Port Blair in 2009, she came to meet my family with her son. I found her happy and cheerful but never knew or measure the reality that she had pain, woes and worries in her heart. Again in 2011, when I went Port Blair she invited me at her home but it was very sort visit.  This time I found weak and frail but could not get time to ask her any thing. I will call her once in month or so but sometime in July 2012 she told me that she will be coming to Chennai and reside with her daughter who is employed there.  When she came Chennai, she will often call me and slowly our telephonic conversation became a daily schedule.  She slowly started telling me about everything of past 20 years life she spent, when I was not in touch with her. She said sorry for her mistakes and asked me of my love, prayer and support for rest of her life. When I went Port Blair for last rite of my mother in April, 2013, she came to stay with me for a night and shared with me her pain, woes and worries. I told her that even though I considered and treated her as my sister all the times, I felt the tenderness of her love for the first time in my life and I will cherish it in my whole life. She told me that she had undergone troubled life after her marriage and her problems in life made her to turn to "Holy Bible" and try to find solace on the words of God. She told me that she even fast on every friday and remember me in her prayers. When I was departing, she embraced me and reminded me the way we use to share our love when she was with me in Port Blair.  For it is written in Bible:

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."Corinthians 13:4-13

     Now eventhough, she is living away from me but we feel we are again united in love to share our feelings, love, sorrows and happiness.   I always thank God for giving me back my lovely sister in my life again to whom I always considered my first sacred love.